Chevelle - Wonder What's Next

2012-01-27T02:09:00.000-08:00

There are few things that I can write about inspur-of-the-moment. Usually I need to compose my literary-self before sittingdown with my laptop, coffee and over-developed sense of wit. Chevelle’s album Wonder What’s Next is one of those rarethings I’m willing to let spill right onto the page. In fact, I’m listening toit right now. Working my way through these carefully constructed hard rocksongs, I’ll bring you an idea of the inspiration that’s flowing right into myear canals.

(…what a delightful image that was).

It’s important to me that I recognise that in all honesty,this isn’t a great album; definitelynot one that deserves its own space in the blogosphere. It’s more the fact thatfor me, this album is the epitome of Indie-Rock; songs that are bursting at theseams with high melodies and delightful guitar passages, but are never likelyto make it to the radio, let alone the Top 100. And yes, I do feel pretentious when I mention the fact that hardly anyone,save myself and the few in my own band have actually heard of this outfit;Chevelle, the underground trio of brothers from Chicago. Never before have Ifelt so inspired to write about atotally-underground-but-far-from-indie-acoustic collection of Drop B-tuned riffs.

Firstly, this album is metal.Riffs on songs such as Family Systemand Wonder What’s Next are chunkierthan the group scales at the start of a Biggest Loser season, while there’senough chugga-chug throughout to keep metal fans happy and enough screams todeter any religious zealots (although Chevelle were originally signed to aChristian label). However, this isn’t a metal album. No sooner have youun-imploded your face from the crushing riffs when you hear Pete Loeffler’sadolescent voice whine over strained chords: I’m tired of your open mouth / Crawling inside my skin / Endless painwe never quit / The fight within that pride’s begun. Indeed, this album isfull of pretty melodies and falsetto passages, enough so that any susceptible girlsin the audience immediately crumble whenever Loeffler moans: So send the pain below / So send the painbelow –oh-whoa.

Although one couldn’t really call this a true metal album,it’s music and themes are indeed dark. Songs such as Closure and Don’t Fake Thisfeature macabre passages with clean guitar tones and downbeat rhythm, while Comfortable Liar boasts a riff sodevilishly simple you just beg Pete Loeffler to repeat it at the end of everybar; which he mercifully obliges. Lyrically, this album covers everything fromliars to relationships to those dickheads who fight people at gigs. As a usuallyrical critic that I am, most of the lines written by Loeffler make adequatesense and are shaped to be delivered effectively in the verses. I look back onmy Year 10 days now, prancing around my small room with my air-guitar, singingalong; We play the blaming game / Yes Imind / It’s not your turn.

Although this album has actually been certified platinumsince its release in 2002, it’s something that I hold very dear as anunderground staple of rock; a rare hybrid between mainstream Nu-Metal riffs andPop-Punk vocal melodies, a bold voyage into a musical atmosphere dominated byheavy, double-tracked guitar tones and pounding, incessant 4/4 bars.

I’ll be quite frank;you probably won’t like this album. You certainly won’t see how I can possiblyjustify my above praise; you’ll probably just be drowned in distortion andwhining, all while thinking ‘How did they get signed with a riff like that? I could have come up with that inYear Eight.’ Be my guest, however, and see if you can see something in thisnow-aging record. If not, leave me be in this special category I’ve created ofbeing hipster and elitist with a childish hard-rock album.

What a man's got he'll learn to hate.

A digression on sex, and a bit on the Church, too.

2012-01-27T01:13:00.000-08:00

It’s almost as though the Catholic Church has forever gone out oftheir way to intentionally piss off not only me (someone who has undergone mostof the sacraments), but the rest of the rational-thinking human race aswell. Homosexuality, for example, isstill seen as a moral evil in the eyes of the Vatican (although representativesof the Church speak of such issues as though they never condemned allhomosexuals to a fiery afterlife in the first place). This sort of stone-age fascism is apparent inmany aging Biblical issues that date back thousands of years; the most prolificof which all revolving around the Church’s attitudes towards sex and sexuality.

Let’s be frank. This Church is absolutely obsessed with sex. You name it; if it’s sexual, the Church islikely to have a problem with it. We must not forget that the Church condemnseternal damnation – that is, never-ending screaming brutal agony – for the‘crimes’ of fornication, adultery, masturbation, and use of contraception. Suchheinous acts, right? On top of that, any participation in abortion or stem-cellresearch will earn you serious brownie points with the Devil. So, how does oneaccount for the Vatican’s supreme intolerance of the naughty?

For one, there’s something about female sexuality that sincerelyoffends the Clergy. Even Jesus, the great Saviour, couldn’t have been conceivedout of a passionate embrace like every other human being on the planet. No, theblessed Mary had to be completely pure, and God’s son had to cometh from a completelysexless conception (and Mary was to remain a virgin for the rest of her life. Poorold Joseph). It’s worth mentioning that even Buddha, the noble figurehead ofpeace in Buddhism, was said to be born from a split in his mother’s side; anywhere but from the awful anddisgusting vagina. This sickening male chauvinism demonstrates once more justhow old and man-made these cults are.

On top of that, celibacy is not only seen as a commendableachievement in the Vatican, but as a fundamental prerequisite for membership.If you have had the misfortune of losing your virginity, there is no way youcan attain a respectful position in the Catholic Church (to answer a question Iget often – yes, the Pope and all the high bishops you see are, in fact, 70year-old virgins). I need not digress on the numerous sex scandals committed bymembers of this Church on innocent young victims to demonstrate the danger ofsuch celibacy, but it may be worth suggesting to the religious that maybe, just maybe, it’s a tad dangerous tostrictly suppress one of humankind’s most potent instincts; the need toprocreate, or simply, lust.

Although imprudent, some might suggest that these views areessentially harmless. After all, what does it matter if a strange bunch of oldpeople are ordering me to keep it in my pants? Screw them, right?Unfortunately, some of the consequences of these dogmas cannot go ignored. Fromthe Epigee Catholic Family Planning Website:

Barriermethods of birth control, such as the condom and the cervical cap, along withhormonal contraceptives, like the birth control pill and Depo-Provera, arethought to interfere with the act of conception.

(Well, fuck a pot-noodle. You don’t say?!)

ToCatholics, purposely stopping the joining of an egg and sperm is thought to bea Sin. Therefore these forms of birth control are not accepted.

Putting aside for one moment the tremendous strain this puts onCatholic families who don’t want to procreate with every sexual encounter,think more of the AIDS-affected places of the world, such as Uganda, one of themost devastated HIV hotspots in Africa. Now, I won’t deny that abstinence, thepractice of refraining from sexual activity, is a very, very good way toprevent getting HIV/AIDS. It really is. On the flip side, however, so arecondoms. They really do work. For Joseph Ratzinger, the man most refer to asthe Pope, to suggest that the distribution of prophylactics in Africa actually increases the likelihood of spreadingthe virus just exemplifies the disastrous effect the Church’s teachings canhave on many innocent lives. Such monstrous and vile comments are all inspiredby the Clergy’s ancient views on sex, which are neither practical nor moral.

To kick off a much-belated conclusion; I won’t deny that sex is apotentially dark and dangerous act. Given the right circumstances, it can behurtful, undignified and destructive. It’s a bit like competitive sport in thatrespect, and also in the fact that it can be wonderful and joyous for allinvolved. It’s jolly, it’s fun, everyone likes doing it, and there is no moralharm in casual intercourse outside or within the confines of marriage. But inall meaning of the word ‘truth’, you won’t go to hell for touching yourself, orwearing a strip of latex to prevent pregnancy or diseases. I mean no disrespector resentment towards individual and pious followers of this Church, but I mustremind anyone who is reading this that when you listen to the teachings of thisChurch and many other religious, you are indeed being commanded by a bunch ofsinister old virgins exactly where you can put your sexual organs, and in whatposition.

Sorry Bennie, but that just won’t fly.

Lost? Wünderbar.

Chevelle - Wonder What's Next

A digression on sex, and a bit on the Church, too.